Child Sexual Abuse has become a very common issue in Pakistan and after Zainab’s case, it has become important for the parents to play their role in the training and grooming of their little ones. The sexual Assault to the girls has been a common issue for decades but now, similar attention has to be put on for preventing your children from this sort of Sexual Abuse. Your children are the future of this country, they are going to be the performers in this society and sexual Abuse can not only lose their confidence but it can even lead to making them sexually ravenous.
Off course, no one of you would like to see your child facing the Harassment related issues and it is the time to get some awareness how you can prevent your kids from childhood molestation or sexual Assault in Pakistan.
13 Preventive Tips for Parents to stop Child Sexual Assault:
When I hear about any case regarding children sexual assault, I don’t blame the society to the great extent, I even don’t blame the politicians for it but I am concerned about the parents. What are they doing? Why are they leaving their children unattended? Why they are so ignorant where their kids are going and what they are doing? I am damn sure that if the parents will become aware and keep their kids under their observation then the percentage of child sex abuse cases will decrease in Pakistan considerably.
There 13 are simple but highly important things that Parents should bring into consideration:
1: Letting your Children sit on the lap of anyone is bad. Warn them not to sit in lap even if the person is her uncle.
People who are ravenous sexually usually target little children. You must advise informally to your children not to sit in the lap of anyone. The good habits can be developed in the kids from home. Although girls feel secure to sit in the lap of their fathers but still, you must avoid it. The girls must develop a habit to avoid sitting in anyone’s lap whether the person is his father or even uncle. The same situation goes for the little boys as well.
I’ve observed that there are so many kids in school vans that the driver makes any of them sit in his lap. It is not advisable at all and it can be the root of a bad habit in your kid. You must have a look where your kid is sitting in the school van and if he or she does not get the proper place then why to allow your kid to sit on driver’s lap! You should look for any other van and in fact, it is good if you can take the responsibility of pick and drop of your child yourself.
2: Don’t dress up in front of your child of more than 2 years of age. Their minds are mature enough to observe the things.
You may think that kids have tiny minds and they don’t have any awareness so it is ok to get dressed in front of them. However, it can seriously bring a negative impact on their little minds. On one side, you have to train them to hide their private body parts and not to get dressed up in front of anyone and on the flip side; you also have to adopt the same thing. If you will get dressed in front of your child then how he will understand the concept of body’s privacy! It will become common for your child and then the problems may arise. Therefore, it is better either to excuse your child when you are going to dress up or find a different place for dressing up.
3. Don’t allow any adult to call your child “my husband” or “my wife”.
Any of your friends or family members can informally call your child as “my wife” or “my husband”. You should be very firm and you should not allow anyone to call your child by these terms. It can seriously produce the negative things in their minds and it can give a wrong direction of thinking to them. You should remove every single root of sexual molestation. These terms may be common for the person using them but believe me that these can have a strong impact on your children. It can stay in their minds even when they grow up.
4. Keep an eye on what kind of play your child does outside and with whom he plays?
It is a matter of great responsibility to observe your child when he/she goes for outdoor plays with the friends. You must be aware of your child’s company and you must know which sort of games they play. Do not allow them to play the games like marriage or couples and even do not let them to play the games in which physical touch is included.
5. Investigate the matter whether your child feels uncomfortable with anyone or becomes fond of a specific person.
If your child is not feeling comfortable with any person then you must investigate the matter. If your kid specifically avoids a person then there can be a serious reason. You should not ignore it but you should try to question to your kid why it is so and why your kid does not like that person. Same has to be done if your child becomes too much fond of any adult. Any adult can win the confidence and trust level of your child and then he can do whatever he wants. You must observe why your child is getting so close to any person.
6. Ask different questions to your child-friendly if he suddenly becomes silent or withdrawn.
If you feel any change in the behaviour of your child like if he becomes quiet or withdrawn then it is a matter to consider seriously. There can be the reason that someone might be abusing your child sexually. You should investigate the problem and you should try to find out the reasons for changes in his behaviour. Ask him a lot of questions, try to find him if anyone is hurting your child physically or emotionally.
7. It’s better to educate your child about the values of sex yourself. Otherwise, society will teach in a negative way.
Curiosity about sex is a natural thing and everyone is curious to know about the body. If you will carefully educate your grown-ups about the right values of the sex then they will understand about their body in a positive way. You can teach these values to your little ones in the best way but when they learn about such things from anyone else then it can leave a negative impact in their little and innocent minds thus spoiling their thinking.
8: Watch the cartoons or other material yourself first to authorize it.
When mothers feel it difficult to deal the kids or when they are busy, they prefer to let their children sit in front on TV giving remote in their hands so that they can watch anything without teasing their moms. All the cartoons are not good for the kids to watch and so it is better to go through the material yourself that your kid is going to watch.
9. Keep a parental control on cable networks and advice the same to your close friends whom you visit often with your children.
You must have parental control over the cable networks because all the networks are not recommended for the kids. Kids definitely adopt the bad things that they may see on any network so it is better to give them access to the limited number of channels that are trustworthy. Also, you should give the same suggestion to your friends. it will not only be good for their children but for your kid as well because you may often visit your friends and so you will be confident to let your child see anything on the TV at their homes.
10. 3 years olds must wash their private parts themselves, train them how to wash and Start Giving them basic Sexual awareness.
Training your child about washing the private parts is also an important thing. You must train them at an appropriate age and teach them not to allow anyone to touch those private parts. Once they are trained about washing themselves, even you should not touch their private parts because charity begins at home and with you. Also, teach them how they can take bath themselves. Sexual awareness and education should be mandatory at school and the children should be told about the right values of sex in a proper way. Your kids may be curious to know about it and for that, they may ask the things secretly from anyone. Before that situation happens, you should male them aware yourself so that they don’t find any charm in this topic anymore.
11: Ban all the stuff that can threaten the sanity of your child including some of your family members and friends.
It is advised to avoid some material like music or movies. Keep it in your mind that children observe thing that happens around them and they even observe the movies and music keenly. If you want to let your children learn some good things then you should blacklist all the things that can attract your kids sexually. Besides music and movies, some of your family members or friends may also be blacklisted whom you know that they are not trustworthy.
12. Do not let your child go alone with anyone.
Whether he is a stranger or any of your friends, you should teach your child not to go with them alone. You should not trust anyone when it comes to the safety of your children. It is better to take the safety measures beforehand rather than regretting later on.
13: Don’t keep quiet but defend your child if he/she complains about a specific person.
If your child complains about any person or any issue then do not feel shy and do not take it easy but to defend your child, you should raise the issue to show that person that you or your child is not helpless. Do not allow such libidinous people even to come near to your family, be very strict with them and show them your powers.
Children Sexual harassment or child molestation has become a common issue in Pakistan and every day, we see such news on different media channels. It is the time to put the individual efforts to get rid of this issue permanently and remember that the first step has to be taken from your home. If you are aware of what your child is doing, about his activities and also about his company then you are already contributing to the best level.
You should not wait for the things to happen first and then to take the steps but you should be aware beforehand and you must put your best part in observing the activities of your kids and in supervising his environment. Sexual harassment can lose the confidence of your child and can let him feel the complex for the lifetime. therefore, if you want to groom your child in the best possible way then protect him or her from these bad evils of the society.
Muhammad Usman Awan is a Blogger and Social Entrepreneur who founded first Anti Harassment Awareness Campaign “Stop Harassment Now”. The Purpose of this campaign is to empower and educate our Girls and Working Women against Harassment.